Z
by thisisnotelle
Summary: Alison received a letter from Emily telling her the story how the brunette met her first love.


A/N: I was studying for my major subject final exam when I remembered something and decided to just write it. It _is_ a mess. First fanfiction, so peace out! Here it is.

P.S. No –A drama here.

* * *

Dear Ali,

Not that the girls you tried to set me up with were bad. They just can't replace my first love. You've been bugging me to tell you who was she when I told you that I can't move on because of her. No, I know you'll be ecstatic that you'll finally know who was it.

Typical love story. So here it goes:

I was walking into my room at the first day of school when I noticed people at the hallway started to make a way. Just going with the flow, I also stepped aside and looked at who were those crowd silencers. There was a group of girls walking. As what I heard around me, they're already popular to the school since middle school. That is probably the reason why I don't know them since I just transferred in this town.

I know I told you that I don't believe in love at first sight. No. I still don't. Hahaha. But attracted at first sight? That was what I felt when I saw the girl who seems to be their leader. She got a queen bee vibe. And I think that is not just a vibe because she is really a queen bee. She got those confident posture and charming smile. And absolutely breathtaking beauty.

I met her again at our English class. Mr. Fitz was cool. But I'm going to admit that I almost cursed at him when he decided to pair me up with her for a book report. I don't want to act like a complete idiot while she's around. And second confession in this paragraph, I thought she's the 'dumb queen bee' type. But she proved me wrong. She's the complete opposite.

We finished our report in just a week. Short but absolutely great time. I knew some stuffs about her, she knew stuffs about me and I started to like her even more. We became friends. Not close but at least she claimed we are friends. She introduced me as her friend, that is also her partner for the English report, to her parents. I was very happy with that, at least we are friends.

I thought that would be the end of being close to her. But she talked to me again after English class. She asked me if I should join her with her friends over lunch. Since I don't have any valid reasons to decline, and I don't want to decline, I agreed. Her friends were cool. I started hanging out with her and her friends every day.

Then I realized that I'm starting to like her even more. I'm starting to love her way more than a friend. And it scared me. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to risk our friendship. I started to keep my distance to her during the Junior year. I still hang out with them but I always bail out if it was just me and her.

I think I was being too obvious, that one time she waited for my last class to end and dragged me at an empty classroom. She was so pissed that she was yelling at me and crying. She said she was so frustrated that I'm avoiding her like a plague without any reason. I felt so guilty after that. I just hugged her and promised that I won't do it again.

We started to get close again. She'll always be there in my swim meets. I'll be there in her piano recitals. All five of us will go out on a weekend to party or just in one of the girl's house to have tv shows or movie marathon. Those moments are always the best.

Until we have to be separated after our high school graduation. The other girls are going to college and I promised my dad that I'll be following his step in serving the country. I remembered when I told her about this, she was mad at me. She said that I don't have to be a soldier. Why would I risk my life in a battle field and leave her alone? I thought of that too. I may not admit it that time but I was just running away from her. Because I loved her. No. I love her. And I'll always be loving her.

We still send letters, skype with other girls or chat through a messaging app. But not that often. Everyone was being busy with our own lives. She updates me once in a while about her love life. Like who is she dating now and that I should meet the guy so that I could interrogate him. She always tried to keep me on the loop of the happenings in her life. I also started to date attempting to forget my feelings for her. But mission failed. She's irreplaceable.

One day, I received a letter from her. I was so hyped until I read what the letter was about. She was already planning for the wedding. Her wedding. I never thought that she's _that_ serious with her boyfriend and she'll even marry earlier than the other girls. I tried not to be affected. I can't cry like a little baby in a military camp, right?

I replied to her letter saying that I'm glad about her wedding. I am glad as a friend. Like really. No lies. But I said that I may not be there since I am being sent to Afghanistan. That was not also a lie. It is also true.

So I'm taking this letter as an opportunity to say everything to you because I may not be there in your most memorable day, Ali.

I'm sorry I thought you're dumb. You're not. You're the perfect example of beauty and brains.

I'm sorry I tried to avoid you during Junior year.

I'm sorry I made you think that I hate you and you even cried. That was memorable tho. You still look gorgeous even your make-up was a mess because of your tears. I still chuckle at that memory.

I'm sorry for leaving you.

I'm sorry for hiding how I feel for you. I was afraid I'm gonna lose you,

I'm sorry for everything,

And thank you for existing. And also for the beautiful memories. The other girls are awesome but thank you for being the _bestest_ friend ever (Spencer's going to punish me because that word doesn't exist).

I know I promised you I'll avoid bullets as much as possible. But if you received this already, maybe I broke that promise. I'm sorry. I tried my best. Occupational hazard.

This is probably my last letter. And the last words I want you to read are:

I loved you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis. You're the best thing that happened to me.

Love,

Em

* * *

The _last letter_ Emily gave to Alison. The title of this is 'Z'. The _last letter_ of the alphabet is _Z._ Did you see what I did there? (i know it is bull shit lol I just can't think of any good title). She used past tense in her last sentence to say that she's willing to let her feelings go because Ali is getting married.

Sorry for any grammar errors. English is not my first language. Well, I hope you understand it tho.

UGH. College. And Engineering as my course? I think I was too dumb, too young to realize. Well, I'm signing off! I'm so TIRRRRED. I'm going to take a 5-hour nap.


End file.
